On this day two years I made the decision to spread my wings and apply to Graduate schools all over the country. I had already made the choice to apply for Accelerated Masters/NP programs, but my search was within a 5 hour radius of my hometown.
I remember taking a hike one day in early October and thinking "I love this place and I will never get tired of this view [Mount Rainier], but I need to see what the rest of the world has to offer. I went home and skimmed through some websites and just kind of played with the idea.
A little over a week later I was at work, I was a Nursing Assistant at Tacoma General, in the ICU and one of the nurses noticed my GRE prep book. She started talking to me about school and she told me she was envious of my determination to pursue a Masters degree instead of just getting my BSN (Bachelors of Science in Nursing). She understood my reasons, why get another Bachelors degree when I can get a Masters degree? Then she asked where I wanted to go. My first response was Seattle University, they have an excellent Accelerated Masters program. I was interested in their Family Nurse Practitioner track. We then started talking about schools, I told her I was also looking into UW, PLU, and of course WSU. We went back to work, our patients blood pressure started to plummet and he was getting really bradycardic. Within minutes we were preparing to call a rapid response and get the code cart. After 8 rounds of CPR (half performed by yours truly), the ICU doctor called time of death. Without even being asked, I started to remove the tubes and wires. I gathered wash cloths and clean linen from the laundry cart, and was set to clean the body before the family came back in. There was no prompting, I just knew what to do. The patient had a young son, who was very interested in what I was doing. He was asking a lot of questions, and then he said "Can I help?". Without even thinking, I said "Of course". The little boy started talking to me about his Dad, telling me all the fun things he and his dad did. His mom was sitting in the back of the room watching. When we were done cleaning up and making the room look nice more family came in. I told them I would give them some privacy and to take as much time as they needed. When I walked out of the patient room, the nurse was standing at the nurses station. She looked at me and said "You are going to be one hell of a nurse someday, screw Seattle University, you should go to Yale!", my response was a simple "Yeah, that would be awesome" I didn't expect a response, but she said "What's holding you back?". And to be honest, nothing was. There was no obvious reason, why was I limited to only the schools in Washington? Yeah I wouldn't want to leave my family, but that's why they invented planes.
I got home from work that night, and with a glass of wine in hand I started vigorously searching for every school in the United States that offered the program that I needed. Months later I had applied to over 13 schools, most were accelerated Masters/NP programs, but some were accelerated BSN programs just to be on the safe side. After careful consideration I secured a spot at the University of Massachusetts medical school in the Acute Care Nurse Practitioner track. After turning down some pretty great schools, schools that were a lot closer to home, I felt good about my decision.
Two years later, here I am. Sitting in Starbucks studying for my state boards and writing a paper for my Masters class. It has been a difficult journey; plenty of homesick nights, major stress, anxiety attacks, countless dollars spent on plane tickets, more face timing than I could imagine, sleep deprivation, and living off coffee and cheap dinners.
What moving 3000 miles has taught me
- I could have never done what I did in the last year if I still lived at home
- Nursing school is no cake walk
- You really learn who you are when nobody else is around
- True relationships aren't dependent on distance
- One inch of snow doesn't ever mean a snow day in Mass
- You learn to value others presence when you can't see them everyday
- I will get through this, one day at a time
- I spend way to much money on groceries
- Nobody in Mass knows how to line dance
- Missing people is natural
- No test will ever define who you are
- Rain doesn't exist on the East coast
- Going home is the best feeling in the world
- Family is forever, despite the arguments
- Ever person you meet is fighting a different battle
- Life isn't going to go your way, that would be too easy. You have to work for success, you have to earn it
- Giving God total control of your life is the most rewarding decision you will make, give him your troubles, he has a plan
- Failing is the most humbling thing you will ever experience
- And lastly, I've learned that I'm not done learning yet
"A thousand times I've failed, Still your mercy remains. Should I stumble again, Still I'm caught in your grace. Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades. Never ending, your glory goes beyond all fame."