Gripping Grace

My wonderful sister bought me the book "In the Grip of Grace" by Max Lucado for my most recent birthday. It has been an amazing read thus far.

As humans we go through our daily life and are so inclined to fix things. We feel pressure to do things ourselves and to fix things on our own. When the problems build up we get frustrated and angry when they can't be fixed. In the sides of trouble and discouragement we are led to rely on only ourselves for help.

"Imagine abandoning your life to Jesus instead of trying to save yourself?"

God wants us to seek him, he wants us to fall into his arms and surrender our lives to him. God wants to fix your problems. It's hard to give someone all the power in your life, especially when you have no idea where they are going to lead you. I tend to lean toward the type A personality, my calendar is my life. I always have to know the plan, and if the plan is changed its a hard concept to grasp. I'm so impatient, its ridiculous. It's a little OCD and I'm the first to admit it. As a Christian I know that I need to hand it all over to God and give him the reins in my life. Its very much out of my comfort zone, it means I have no control whatsoever. I can try all I want to have things go my way but in the end his plan will always overpower mine. 

We cannot save ourselves, nor can we keep ourselves saved.

In the book, "Crazy Love", by Francis Chan he talks about our worry in relation to not having control. "Worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives." Basically when we get anxious of the unknown its like a slap in the face to God. Do we not trust that Gods plan is greater than anything that we could ever imagine? Do we not trust that he has our best interests in mind. God has promised you that he will not let you fall, and its a promise he won't break.

"So go ahead! Jump off the cliff of self-sufficiency. Leap out of legalism. Walk off the pier of guilt and condemnation. Thats the only way you'll land in the strong arms of the Father who loves you, the Father who catches you - every time - in the grip of his grace."

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25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life. 28And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Matthew 6: 25-34

My First Post

I've been toying with the idea of starting a blog for a while now, I finally decided to just do it. So here we go! Enjoy :)

Over a year ago I interviewed for a spot at the University of Massachusetts Medical school's in the Acute Care Nurse Practitioner tract. An accelerated three RN-MSN-ACNP program that would require me to relocate to Worcester, MA. I had already been accepted to one school, Emory University in Atlanta. I wasn't so sure about Emory but I hadn't been accepted anywhere else. UMass was my number one choice, they had great stats and were a very well known Medical School- it was the perfect place for me. I wanted them so bad, but did they want me? The only thing I could do was Pray. I prayed, and prayed, and prayed some more. I had no control over anything at that point, so I gave it all to God and let him handle it.

I was so ready for a change. After getting out of an almost 5 year relationship back in August 2013, I was lost. I will admit, that breakup led me to apply for schools outside of the comfort of my hometown. I was all the sudden longing for a new scenery and looking forward to the possibility of moving and getting the chance to start over.

My acceptance letter came as an email, I wasn't expecting to hear anything for a few weeks so I was completely surprised. My heart was racing and I just felt a rush of emotions. It took me all of two minutes to decide what I was going to do. Of course I would have been crazy not to accept the offer. But was I ready to leave? Was this really what I wanted? Is this really the plan for my life? I had asked God to take control and guide me - and he did just that. I applied to 14 schools, and was accepted to half of them- three of them were in Massachusetts. I think God was telling me something there, I was supposed to end up here. I accepted the offer and sent in my deposit to hold my spot. I had about four months until I needed to leave, so just enough time to say my "See ya laters".

~ ~ ~

8 months ago on this day Dad, Teddy, and I jumped into my loaded down Ford Focus and started on the journey to Massachusetts where I was to start a new life for myself. We drove four days, 3,133 miles, through 13 states, crossed 3 major rivers, and across the continental divide. It was such an exciting time as I was embarking on a brand new adventure. But at the same time it was sad; Mom and Kendra were crying in the driveway as we drove away, Nanny and Papa were emotionally hugging me tightly the night before and my other family members were sad to see me go. I knew I would see them in a few months for Christmas, but it would be the longest amount of time away from them.

July 29, 2014

Theres a song by The Dixie Chicks "Wide Open Spaces", this was my theme song as I journeyed across the Country. I've been on lots of road trips with my family, but I always came back after the trip was over. This time the trip wasn't ending.

This was it, the journey was starting.

"She needs wide open spaces.

Room to make her big mistakes.

She needs new faces.

She knows the high stakes.

She traveled this road as a child.

Wide eyed and grinning,

she never tired.

But now she won't be coming back with the rest.

If these are life's lessons,

she'll take this test."

8 months later I have adjusted to life on the East Coast. It hasn't always been easy; I get home sick, I get discouraged, and I feel guilty for not being around for family events. I'm thankful for technology and its ability to keep me in contact with my loved ones. This journey has brought me closer than ever to Jesus, giving him total control over my life really tested my faith and I find myself so much more relaxed. When you allow God to handle situations and lead you to your pathway it builds your relationship. I trusted him then and I trust him now, because I know that his plan is far better than any plan that I could ever imagine. 

"For I know the plans I have for you, Declares the Lord, Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11