Why being picky is not a bad thing

My all time favorite phrase, "You're just too picky", and it's not in relation to food. I will eat anything, except Pizza, I will not eat pizza. The line is in relation to relationships. I'm picky about relationships. Picky about who I let ride along in this crazy life of mine. Mostly more so recently.

I went through a really bad friend break up last year. I realized at that time that I was settling for a lot of things in life and had a terrible judge of character. I let her basically walk all over me, and I kept trying to save our broken friendship. Deja Vu, the girl version of my last serious boyfriend. The friendship ended, and I see her once a week in class, but we haven't spoken a word to each other in months. I mean this girl couldn't even say 'Happy Birthday' to me last month. But other than that, I've kind of hit the jack pot in the friend situation, most of my friends are pretty great. So being picky really worked out in that way. But maybe I'm not that picky about my friends? I have quite a bit of them, at least a handful that I consider good friends. So when you have so many, maybe you're not as picky about them?

Men, on the other hand, that's another story. I seem to be extra particular about the men I date. All my friends, the handful of them, find it to be extremely annoying. I have actually stopped telling my friends about any new guys, because we all know, it's not going to last. Just a few months ago I was telling my friend Kam about this guy, she basically said to me "I don't even want to know, because he won't be around next month." Touche, Kam, Touche. She was right by the way. I especially have stopped telling my family about new guys. They have actually stopped asking, ha, yikes. But you see, its not even like I have these crazy high standards. It's actually pretty simple; somewhat have your life together, have your own vehicle, don't do drugs, be nice to my dog, don't complain about my cooking (it's probably not good, so sorry about that) and laugh at the stupid jokes I tell you. It is actually an easy list to fulfill. Those things are easy to find, it's not rocket science finding someone who has those traits. In fact, I have found that guy, multiple times.

It's the finer details that seem to send me packing. For instance, that guy that couldn't use correct grammar if his life depended on it. I mean, come on. What a huge turn off than when a guy can't find his way around the KeYbOaRd.

Or what about the guy who seems to be really into you, and says all the right things, but is always too busy to actually hangout and make things happen. Alright dude, I do not have time to wait around for you to figure it out. Between work and school I am busy 60+ hours a week, do you think I have time to play these games? No, the answer to that is no. I have zero time for that. I also am not the most patient of people, so my bad. But honestly, you're wasting my time with all this "all talk and no action" nonsense. If you are really interested, you'll manage to make plans. My best friend had a really incredible date last month, it seemed to be a winning situation. Except that they never had a second date, but continued talking to each other for nearly 3 weeks after that first date. Kudos to her for sticking that out. I guess the logic is that if you really had a great time hanging out with someone, wouldn't you want to do it again, sooner rather than later? I think the 'chase' is far too real for some people. Just because I ran track in high school doesn't mean I want to chase after you.

I am not usually one to initiate the first move when it comes to dating, maybe it's because there's only a few times I have felt the need to. I don't just show my interests in any guy that shakes his butt walking past me. I look at the butt, but don't usually ask that butt out. I actually rarely show any interest at all and I'm usually pretty content waiting for guys to approach me. But occasionally, I will make the first move. And men, if I have went out of my way to ask you out, you should just say yes and not beat around the bush. Because I am clearly interested. I have 2 days off a week, if I'm asking to spend one of those days with you, I am interested. At some point all your excuses are going to get old, and that "Don't write me off just yet" line is going to be only white noise. And if you don't want to say yes to my forward offer, then say it! It's like guys are afraid to hurt our feelings, um please, don't be. My feelings are going to be fine, no sutures will be necessary for these feelings.

Then, there are the ghosts. You know who I'm talking about, that guy that was so amazing, and then all of the sudden he disappears. If it's never happened to you, consider yourself lucky. I was listening to the radio the other day, and this girl had called in talking about her most recent dating situation. She had been seeing this guy for a few months, and they had planned to go on a vacation together. A few days before this trip, he vanished. Stopped returning her phone calls, and obviously did not show up at the airport for their trip. Turns out he was married. So his lying, cheating ass probably got caught by his wife. I hope she left him. Anyway, the being married thing doesn't always happen. But the Houdini act is very real. A few years ago I was dating this guy, pretty great guy actually. So naturally, once he brought up 'the talk'. Not the birds and the bees talk, but the other one. You know, the "I really like you and don't want us seeing other people", talk. I was thrilled, I thought I had hit the jack pot with that one. But naturally, because I have such a great track record with this kind of thing, it was after that chat where he started bailing on plans, and at one point disappeared (only to return a week later). It was weird, but I fed into his line of bull and excuses as to why he couldn't give a girl a call back. We dated a few more weeks, until poof, he was MIA again. I was more annoyed than anything, okay fine, I was pissed. If you can't be honest and tell someone you just aren't interested anymore, than you just shouldn't be dating. Because you suck at it. Come to find out this guy was just a winner all around, he must have forgotten that he was also not supposed to be dating anyone else. Because he was dating 3 other people. How he even had time to somewhat manage 4 different girls still blows my mind. Moral of that story; unless it's halloween, I stay clear of ghosts.

Or what about the overly zealous gym goer? don't get me wrong, I like my men in shape. I am quite attracted to fit guys and those who aren't short of breath just walking up the stairs to my apartment. But do you have to talk about the gym all the time? I'm not impressed that you use expired epi pens as a form of 'pre-workout'. It is impressive that you can bench 200lbs, but can we please talk about something else? The calorie counters, I had no idea such a person existed. But they do, I love food, probably too much. So I am not going to eat cardboard because you are going to be over your daily amount. Shut up, I literally just had 1200 calories of chocolate covered macadamia nuts, I do not care about calorie counting.

And, I am not interested in a guy with all this extra baggage. I travel light, usually with just a carry on. I have no extra hands to tow around your suitcases full of baby mama drama, drug addictions, eviction notices, or broken down cars. Seriously, I have my own problems. 


Needless to say, I'm a little more choosy in those I date than the average person. But is this such a bad thing? I don't think so. Because here's the thing, I have found guys who do annoying things, and I have kept them around. I liked them, so the tedious quirks didn't bother me. And sometimes, I can grow to like those quirks.

Some ladies at work the other day were talking about how they married in their older years and have started to have kids later in life. I jokingly said "So there is still hope for me!", and their response, "Never settle". I think society now has made us think that if we are in our 20's and not in a serious relationship, our life is just not up to par. But thats a load of crap. I think my life is just as fulfilling than some of those people I grew up with. I have a Bachelors degree, working on my Masters, pay all my own bills, vacation anywhere I want to go, and by next year I will be a bad ass nurse practitioner at the ripe age of 26.

In 50 years, I don't want to regret settling for some guy. When I see a red flag, I get the hell out. Sometimes I grab the popcorn and watch my life turn into a train wreck, but then I get out. There was a patient in the ED a few weeks ago. An old guy, who had a slew of medical problems. But what stood out most to me, his wife had just left him. He had been in the hospital recovering from a MI, and his wife left. Packed her bags and moved in with her new boyfriend. He had said to one of the nurses "At 78, you don't anticipate being alone again". I don't want to be 78 and single because the husband I settled for decided to leave me for a younger version of myself. So if being picky is what prohibits me from settling for Joe Schmo, I'll take it.

So advice to my younger non-married sisters and cousins: There is no such thing as being too picky, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. If he doesn't make you laugh on the first date, get out of the there. Never, ever settle. And never turn down a date offer (unless you think he's going to kidnap you). Seriously, what do you have to lose? I always know after the first date if it's going to go anywhere. So one date is not going to kill you, take the date, kiss the guy. But don't go and marry the first guy who tells you that you're pretty. And please, don't marry that guy just because you got knocked up, I will be an excellent aunt someday. You do not need to settle for the one night stand. Take time to figure out what you want, and subsequently you will realize what you don't want. And just because you are 35 and still single, does not mean a damn thing. Don't settle, because you don't want to be 78, divorced, and trying to figure out how Tinder works. So for the man you finally end up with, he's going to be pretty special. Because he passed all the tests, I'll drink to that.

And not to completely toot my own horn, but I'm a catch. Literally, I'm not that fast anymore, so you probably could catch up to me. If some guy can't see the greatness that is me, well there's the door, I hope it hits you on the ass on the way out :)

To the Dad, who didn't have to be

Fathers day doesn't seem to get enough attention as Mothers day. I am not so sure why that is. Maybe because women spend countless hours in pain, pushing a foreign object out of their body? I recently heard a co-worker talk about her birthing experience (I am traumatized, by the way), but it got me thinking about my mom and the 4 times she gave birth. I have no idea how long she was in labor for, I don't remember really thinking about it at the time. I was a self centered child, and probably was getting into trouble and loving that nobody was paying attention to it. Then it got me thinking about the dads. The dads who stand at the head of the bed, wiping the sweat, holding the cold wash cloth, and getting their hand squeezed the crap out of. The mom is the first person to hold the baby, but why? I think dads deserve a little more credit. 
Especially mine.

Growing up, I bet you had other plans for your life. I bet you didn't expect to start dating a girl that already had a kid. I bet you didn't even think you would like this girl, let alone her kid. I bet you didn't plan to be a teenage father. I bet you had other plans for your Friday nights. And I know you didn't expect to be in Burger King when this kid peed on the chair. At 19, I bet you thought your life would have taken a different route. At 19 I would have ran away, far away. But, 23 years later I am grateful that you didn't run.

It takes a special guy to take in a crazy two and a half year old. To put his own life on hold for this mom and her kid. To agree to forever with her and her 25 pound baggage. To give up your chromed out ride for a car seat and diapers. A special guy, with a big heart. Someday I hope to find a guy who's half the man you are. 


Theres a song, by Brad Paisley, and it reminds me of you every time I hear it:

When a single mom goes out on a date with somebody new

It always winds up feeling more like a job interview

My mama used to wonder if she'd ever meet someone

Who wouldn't find out about me and then turn around and run

I met the man I call my dad when I was five years old

He took my mom out to a movie and for once I got to go

A few months later I remember lying there in bed

I overheard him pop the question and I prayed that she'd say yes

And then all of a sudden

Ah it seemed so strange to me

How we went from something's missing

To a family

Lookin' back all I can say

About all the things he did for me

Is I hope I'm at least half the dad

That he didn't have to be

'Cause he didn't have to be

Thank you Dad: for working late hours, for eating cold dinners, for getting up at odd hours in the night, for washing cars inside and out, for synching cell phones, for moving trips (multiple times), for dealing with excessive estrogen, for letting us watch TV during the game, for going to Backstreet boys, for bicycle rides, for getting us our first cars (and not getting mad when we wrecked them), for not caring that your christmas present surprise was ruined, and for pretending to like my onion filled spaghetti sauce.

But most of all, thank you for opening up your heart to a little two year old hellion and for never treating me any different. For encouraging me to shoot for the stars, for never having any doubts, and for always loving me despite different DNA. I am not sure I would be where I am today if it wasn't for you.  Thanks for giving me three little playmates, and for always making my mom happy.

I don't think money could buy a better Dad, and if it could, I don't think we could afford you. Happy Fathers Day Dad.

Your life matters

As May comes to a close and we end Mental Health Awareness month, I thought it was time for a new post. A topic I hold close to my heart, because it has impacted my life in more ways than I could possibly describe.


Did you know?
 - Over 20 million people in the US suffer from depression each year
 - 1 in 4 young adults will suffer an episode of depression before age 24
 - Women are 2x more likely to suffer from depression than men
 - 70% of adults in the US have experienced a traumatic event at least once in their lives
 - Up to 20% of those people go on to develop PTSD
 - More than 13 million people have PTSD at any given time
 - About 3% of Americans suffer from Bipolar Disorder
 - Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the US for ALL ages
 - Every 12.3 minutes there is one death by Suicide and it takes the lives of 38,000 Americans every year
 - For every 25 suicide attempts, there is one death by suicide

I recently read a quote, it said "The sad thing is, Suicide doesn't end the pain. It just passes it on to someone else." That struck a cord. I work in the field of saving lives, strangers lives actually.  I have seen people on the worst day of their lives. The worst day of their families lives; because they just lost their father, mother, sister, brother, aunt, uncle, grandfather, grandmother, cousin, lover, or friend. And the person that didn't make it, they would have given anything for the outcome to be different. People go through endless treatments, surgeries, try countless medications to heal their bodies, to try and live the fullest life possible. They aren't ready to go, they aren't ready for their life to be over, they haven't finished living.

So when someone chooses that route, the route to end it all forever, it's a little rough. They thought there life just wasn't worth living anymore.

I have seen those closest to me suffer from depression. Depression because things in their life suck. Suck is a good word, and frankly a lot of stuff down right sucks. They were dealt a bad hand. They lost people close to them, they have other health issues, they had their heart broken, they lost their job, they've had some pretty lousy luck. Things just suck, things in their life just sucks. But what sucks more is losing someone. It sucks. One day they are making you laugh and the next day they are gone. How could we have not seen this coming? How did we miss this? Simple, we are so caught up in our own lives we don't notice what is going on around us. It's a common saying, "but they seemed so happy". I think we all get pretty good at pretending, acting like what we think other people want to see. So just because they seem "happy" doesn't mean they are.

In a house full of people, how did you miss that? How did you not see that person suffering? I missed it, I missed it a few times. I would love to know the reasons, I would love to know the answer to my burning question. Why? Why did it have to end that way? Why did you not see another way out? Unfortunately, I will never know that answer.


This world is full of hate, full of judgment, and full of lies. I encourage you  to look at those around you. Please don't ignore the signs. If you or someone you know is thinking of ending their life, please seek help. You are not ending the suffering, you are causing those who love you to suffer. You are making children fatherless or motherless. You are making parents childless. You are leaving scars on the hearts of the those you love. You are taking away your laughter from the world. You are ridding the world of your smile. You are running away. You are leaving, and not saying goodbye. Your life is worth living, your life matters.

This post is in memory of all those who have lost their battle with depression. May they rest in the most peacefulness. May their infectious spirit be remembered. May we never forget their presence in our lives. Uncle Jim, this ones for you. I hope you found the peace you were looking for.

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Why I'm Not Ashamed to Work in a Rehab

I'm a Registered Nurse, and for the last month I've been working in a rehab facility. I don't work in the Intensive Care Unit, I don't work in the Emergency Department, I don't work on the Oncology floor, and I am okay with that. 

Some of you may be grimacing, but "why a rehab?". It definitely isn't my dream job, but it's a job. In fact, it's a great starting job. You may be wondering, how with my background, I ended up where I did. Well I can't answer that. I can't say I didn't try for something different. But this is where I ended up, for now. This isn't the end of the road for me. My career JUST started. I've been a nurse for what feels like all of ten minutes.

I will admit, I wasn't jumping at the chance to work in a rehab. Actually I was mad. I didn't want to start from the bottom again. I wanted to start where I left off. I started working as a CNA in 2012, and the day after graduation I got a job working in home care. Not glamorous, but I was just happy to be working in the field. By 2013 I had worked in a nursing home and a retirement home. Then I started working in a hospital. At that moment, I knew I was going to nursing school within the next year, but it was big. I started from the bottom and worked my way up to one of the best CNA jobs I could have had. I worked in the ICU, ED, medical floors, Pediatric floors, and other floors. The ICU would request to have me, total win there. So when I was in nursing school it didn't occur to me that I might have to work my way up to the top. I kind of had this idea that I already put that time in and that was the end of it. God has a funny way of reminding us who's in charge.

I've realized in the last few years that God uses unforeseen circumstances to lead us. God is in charge of our lives, and our life plan. I wish I had control over the things that happen, and to a point I do, but he has control over my control. If God wants something to happen, it happens.

The last 6 months have not been part of my plan. My plan was to pass boards, the first time, and get a job in the Emergency Department right away. Two things that did not happen. I have hit many bumps in the road, and I keep finding more bumps. Just when things seem to be settling down, I'm hit with the reality that this life is not by my book.

I work in a rehab, and I am okay with that. I am proud of my job, because I earned this job. I put in the time and applied for jobs, I put in the work and went for interviews. I got this job on my own, with the help of God and the support from my family and friends. It's not my dream job, but for now, it's giving me experience. This job is teaching me, preparing me for the next step. I may get treated different from my classmates, because I have a 'crappy' job, and they feel bad for me. But I just smile - I got this job because someone chose me based on my own person, and not because they were told from professors to choose me. I may be getting constant emails from my director about how this job is not giving me the 'experience' I need to be a successful Acute Care Nurse Practitioner. But for now, this job is giving me experience to be a good nurse. I may have to take a year off to get that 'better' experience, and I will cross that bridge when it comes. But for now, I am enjoying what I have in front of me. Because this is Gods plan, and I am trusting that his plan is the best plan. 

So many times in life, we have this idea of how our life needs to be, and we can't get that view out of our minds. We just can't see what we don't want to see. We are constantly comparing our life to those around us. That girl has my dream job, that guy drives my dream car, that girl has the most handsome boyfriend, that girl has the prettiest shoes, or I wish I had his life because she gets to travel so much. STOP doing that! You have no idea what their life is like, what you see on the outside is so deceiving. Because while you are envious of their life, they may be envious of yours. I wish I had her hair, her boots are so cute, her dog is so well behaved, or she is the best cook. Start being thankful for what you have and not what you wished you had.

So no, I am not ashamed to work in a rehab, because this is exactly were God has planted me. It may not be the exact desire of my heart, but there is time. I am thankful for life and that I have a job to go to. I am thankful that I can pay my bills support myself. I am not going to waste time being jealous of others or complaining about the current situations I am in. I am loved by Jesus, and have faith in the future.

Remember that song?

You know that feeling you get when you hear an old song? The memories that come flooding back when you hear those lyrics? It happens to me all the time. I can't help but take a trip down memory lane when certain songs come on. It almost feels as if I'm back in that place, the place where that song first had meaning.

All the feelings come back; the sadness, the happiness, the laugher, the tears. Whatever I was feeling during that 'moment', when I hear that song, the feelings start to rush in. When I first start to date a new guy, and there's a song that describes our relationship or maybe the situation we are in - it becomes the song that I remember him by. When someone gives me news, the song thats on becomes the song that always takes me back to that conversation. And ironically, most of the time it's as if the song actually fits with what I'm feeling - like a 6th sense. 

A few weeks ago, I was in the car and Justin Timberlakes song, 'Make you love me' came on. As I was sitting at the red light I started to reminisce about the guy within those lyrics. I had just started seeing this guy, and I really liked him. But I was guarded, I had a 10 foot wall up and wouldn't let him cross it. I was planning my move to MA at the time, and that was allowing me to not get attached. I used the move as a way to not commit. We dated for over 4 months off and on, and one day he told me to download JTs song. Almost 2 years later that song still brings me back. We ended up breaking up a few months before I moved. He was looking for someone to marry, and I was looking for someone who could just be in that moment.

~~~

Then there's the song that inspired this post. I was at Starbucks a few days ago, and the barista had a strong resemblance to the last guy I dated (Yes, the barista was a guy). I found myself stumbling for words because I was so caught off guard. Okay no biggie, so what they look similar. I stay and do some studying, and really just couldn't get over how much they looked alike. I get in my car and Big & Rich's new song "Lovin Lately" comes on. I hadn't actually listened to the lyrics before. But on this day I happened to listen to what was being said. 

"Who you've been lovin lately. Who you've been callin baby. Who you've been runnin around in this tell all town. I guess you've finally got the best of me. I guess you thought I'd never see. You know it's so hard to believe how we came down. Like we were nothin baby, who you been lovin lately?"

I immediately started thinking about one of the last guys I dated, the guy I dumped, the guy I regretted dumping (for a while, not anymore though). I was hesitant about long distance, what guy in their right mind dates a girl he's known for 10 days and then she flies across the country to her place of residence. I don't know many. I mean lets be real, it's not an easy time if you're trying to start a relationship. So before he could end it, I did. I acted as if I didn't like him that much and that it didn't affect me. And I did a good job, who knows if my friends bought it, but they never called my BS. It's been 4 months, and it's still on my heart, only because I push away everyone who tries to get close to me. It's funny how in my life, these songs can mean so much. How a single song will bring back the rush of emotions. How a single lyric can have such an impact.  

~~~

It's not all past relationships though, its everything. There's 'The Truth' by Jason Aldean, remembering the time my best friend and I were talking about our most recent break ups. Or any of the upbeat Country songs reminding me how much I miss my home. The one that reminds me of being in the hospital hours before my uncle died. The songs my friends and I jammed to and of course sang to when we were in Jr high. The song I listed to as I was crying while driving home after I found out my boyfriend had just moved out which resulted in our breakup. Which happens to be the same song that came on 9 years ago after a different boyfriend broke up with me. I can't break the feeling, I can't seem to forget the significance. The song I was listening to when I was packing to go home for my best friends bachelorette weekend, I feel that excitement overcome me every time. The songs that subsequently played at her wedding and that entire whirlwind weekend.

I guess you could say my entire life could be described with some lyrics. All the moments in my life, could be associated with different songs. If you know me, you know the mood I'm in depending on what music I'm listening to. For every season of my life, for every different person who is my life at that point in time.. there is a song.

Today, it's Florida Georgia Lines 'Confesion'. I'm reminded how I felt when I first moved to MA, and how much I missed my family and friends. I remember the feeling of anticipation because I was going home for the holidays. I remember dancing to the song with my friends in the bar. As I sit and try to overcome the current home sickness I am feeling, it's those memories, that I don't ever want to forget.

Silver Lining

So this past Christmas break, I spent a lot of the time being angry about certain situations. The job hunt was making me feel down and I was getting really discouraged.

Let me back up. Since attending UMass School has been pretty busy, so busy that having a job was kind of out of the question. So I lived off my savings (and those gracious school loans). But now that I’m a nurse, I am required to work. Which is a good thing, I hate not working. In order to sit for the Nurse Practitioner exam I need 1000 hours of experience working as a RN. So from now, Jan 2016 to June 2017 I need to get in at least 1000 hours. It’s really not that much if you think about it. I will be practicing as an NP in a short 17 months; I think I need all the experience I can get! So like many of my classmates after passing boards I headed straight into the job search. I applied at every hospital within 50 miles from my house – Boston has some amazing hospitals. It would be my dream to work at Mass Gen, but unfortunately the only new grads they hire are their own students. And I turned down my offer for MGH! I know, sounds like a stupid move. But really, it wasn’t. The tuition for one year at MGH was about equal to half of my entire program. So in retrospect, it was smart to turn them down. Also, the new grads working for MGH are making 12$ an hour and aren’t even guaranteed a full time position after orientation. The people who work there are doing it for the experience, not the paycheck. Lets be honest, it’s the experience of a lifetime. A level 1-trauma hospital in the heart of Boston - To me that sounds like what I dream Heaven is like. Gunshot wounds, multiple car pileups, stabbings, and all those other bloody things that get my heart pumping. So if I wanted to continue living off student loans, the savings is drained by now, I would have went to MGH and take that job in a heartbeat. However, I don’t want to live off student loans forever. That sounds like a lifetime of debt to me - for now I will dream of someday working at Mass Gen.

So back to real life- UMass is also a level 1-Trauma hospital, but here’s the kicker – they won’t hire me. Only a select few people from my specific NP track were chosen, 4 out of 6. My good friend and I were not offered this job. We were placed at a different clinical site, in the Intensive Care Unit. So it was a great clinical site, but the down side was there was no job for us. My friend was okay, she lived in the area and had worked at a hospital for seven years – she was going to find a job at here hospital no problem. So theres me, the girl with no connections, jobless. I was mad, I was mad that my peers were given these great jobs. So all of Christmas vacation, I couldn’t stop thinking how unfair it was. Fairness is really a funny thing; do we ever really deserve anything? No we don’t, we didn’t deserve it when Jesus died for our sins on the cross. And we surely don’t deserve any of the grace that comes from God.

In the midst of all this my old work, Tacoma General Hospital, said they had a RN position for me. Cool, I don’t live here. School isn’t over and I have to go back to MA. I was so mad that I spent my time looking into my options. Looking into the schools that I originally turned down because I wanted more of an adventure. Seattle University said they would take me, after the application and all that jazz. However, I would need to retake some of the masters courses. Doing the math it was going to end up being costly and more time consuming. So there goes that plan. I had no choice but to go back to MA.

Last week I learned a lot about the experiences my classmates are having with their current job at UMass hospital. Yikes, lets just say I truly believe God was looking out for my best interests. Any out-of-state student working at UMass hospital has to pay almost $3,000 for this class that is required. Umm, what? Plus they actually have to work a certain about of days, and NOT GET PAID. What in the world! I did the math; it would take the middle of summer to make up for the cost of the class. So essentially it’s like paying for a job. No thank you, I’d rather not. So I realized that I was mad for nothing. I was mad that some students had this great opportunity, but they had to sell their soul to the devil for that opportunity.

So the moral of the story is that I shouldn't be jealous of others. God had a better idea in store for me, he always has a better plan for us than we could have for ourselves. Trusting in his process is the key to a fulfilling relationship with him.