I heard a song on the radio the other night, I got the boy by Jana Kramer. Its about a girl who sees photos of her ex on his honeymoon, obviously with someone else. I kind of thought it was gonna be a hate song and she was gonna bad mouth the ex and his new wife, But surprisingly she didn't. It can be hard to be okay with our exes being with someone one else, heck its hard just to have to see it sometimes. The reason I really liked this song was because she was truly happy for her ex to have found someone else. And I think now-a-days this is a rarity.
"I got the first kiss and she'll get the last.
She's got the future and I got the past.
I got the class ring, and she got the diamond and wedding band.
I got the boy and she got the man."
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Why do we use history as an excuse to get back with our exes?
I'm guilty of it too, its human nature. We remind ourselves of all the good times and then we paint this picture of how the relationship will just be wicked awesome after some time apart. Yikes, how many times does that actually happen? We constantly make excuses for the bad in the relationship just because theres 'History'. We've associated this idea of having a past with someone as also having a future. I think its even worse when both parties are single. It's the thought that "I might as well see if they have changed, I have nothing else to lose." WRONG. You will end up getting hurt again, they will disappoint you again, and/or they might cheat on you again. I had a friend, she will not be named, but she had this idea that she could change her boyfriend. Every time they got back together she said "this was it, if he hasn't changed then I'm done". Ladies and Gentlemen that lasted about 5 years. Holy crap, what a good chunk of time. They broke up, made up, got back together, fought, broke up, fought, back together, and eventually broke up for good. She was never going to be able to change him, and even if she did, why would you want to be with someone that you had to change in order to be what you want? Just ponder that for a minute.
An ex boyfriend of mine texted me a few weeks ago, we chatted for a bit. He wanted to know if I was up for the idea of hanging out again. I will admit I thought about it, thinking maybe it would be fun. Then, as I sat on my couch and watched my dog chase his tail while running in circles, I realized "What the F am I thinking?". I know I'm smarter than a dog, right? Am I really going to gain pleasure in running in circles with the same guy, just different year. I know God was sending me a message that day. I don't think it's a bad thing to be friends with exes and catch up, but DO NOT date them again! It is one of those things you really have to figure out on your own, but for the sake of all the girls who I cherish deep in my heart.. please please please let it go. I hate to see you hurting, I hate to see your soul damaged because some guy has this rein over your life.
It's part of life to miss someone, they were part of your life for a an amount of time that you will never get back. You have memories with them and you can't just erase them from your mind. But having a past with someone does not mean that you have a future with them. You owe it to yourself to find someone who doesn't hurt you, someone who truly puts the pink in your cheeks, and someone who doesn't need to be changed.
As for my exes, I won't name you all, but I wish you the best of luck in your journey to find the one. I hope you never feel the need to settle because you deserve the very best.
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